'I don't believe you have to be better than everybody else.I
believe you have to be better than you ever thought you could be.' -Ken Venturi.
Isn’t that a
good manifesto ? The whole idea is we must push our abilities beyond our own
imagination possible. Steve Jobs’
reality distortion field carried a positive resonance to it when his engineering team had performed
beyond their abilities. On the other hand, self deception or delusion carries a
negative connotation. So when is a reality distortion not a denial and how does one put things in the right perspective? How do we keep our reality in check?
How do we know we are not deceiving ourselves into believing that we are doing
fine ? For those of us who strive
to better ourselves, how do we keep a score card of our virtues and
wrongs? If we
think we want to do something with our lives, how do we know if we are progressing on the right track?
We tend to
agonize and brood about what has gone wrong. We must know that it is a waste of
our energy by beating ourselves up for things we cannot change. “Should have”
is such a meaningless phrase but how often we say that? When we are caught in a
traffic jam, we kick ourselves for taking the wrong route, when we make a bad
purchase, we invariably feel that we have made the wrong choice and when we
sign up for a deal and a better one comes along, we wish we could have deliberated
more and widen our search and consider more offers or promotions, the list goes
on. We want to get ahead and maybe in the name of beating the system, we want
to come out the winner. We get frustrated and become upset when our plans go
astray or that things do not get done the way we want them to be done. If only
we could just tell ourselves not to be too wound up and look at the bright
side. How about all the other
times when things go splendidly, must we congratulate ourselves for making the
right choices? I think not. There is no reason to gloat if we succeed and
likewise wallow about all the “should haves or should have not” if we do not
succeed. Ideally that is the case, I think.
Our minds can play tricks
on us so how do we know if we are not deceiving ourselves or that we are in
denial? It is a matter of finding
a balance between humility and
self-possession that gives
us just the right amount of confidence to carry on doing what we have been
doing and whatever we plan to do. We must believe what our minds are telling us
otherwise we can become uncertain. Ultimately we should stick to whatever
works. Each and everyone of us will have to find out what works and what not for
each one of us.
On Friday before we headed
home, my office partner and I had a drink at the Pacific Coffee Company outlet
located at a new shopping mall. The
thought for the day that was on
display at the Pacific Coffee
Company store was a quote by Louis L’Amour: A wise man fights to win, but he is twice a
fool who has no plan for possible defeat.
Bingo! Now I have
another quote which seems to fit in nicely with what I have started writing
this week. For every venture, we must know that we may have to be prepared for
defeat. When one has dreams and high expectations, one can be
motivated to persevere with a view to succeed. However it is wise to anticipate
disappointments. In exercising my professional duty, I often advise clients the
possibility of a defeat as clients must know that in litigation, there will be
a winner and a loser. Of course, clients should have realistic expectations of
the outcome of a legal battle that they have chosen to be engaged in and must
be prepared to face the consequences should they fail. That is often a
difficult concept to drive home to a particularly hard core litigant or an obstinate client.
My family decided to watch The Nutcracker the movie after an early
dinner on New Year's Eve. Apparently the movie did not gain popularity as it did not appeal to
the children nor the adults. I thought the cinematography and graphic were
delightful even though it was not spectacular. Perhaps the Nutcracker story was
not intended for children and the adults are too cynical to enjoy the story.
Maybe life could be magical like the Nutcracker Story and that dreams could
become reality. Does that sound like a good wish? I think it does. Meilleurs
vœux!