Here are the
possibilities in your youth. One is that you go after your dreams and you
should be happy even if you fail at achieving your dreams because you follow your passion. If you play it safe and not go after your dreams as you feel that you have to be realistic and pragmatic, you might be comfortable in life, you may not be happy with the choices you have made. The other possibility is you work hard at acquiring or perfecting some skill before turning it into a passion. It is obviously a skill that you think you can potentially get very good at. But will the
skill be one that can sell and earn you a comfortable living?
Hard work matters. It is trite that
one must strive in order to thrive. The harder you work, the luckier you get is not just a cliché. I remember as a
seven year old, when I finally figured out some phonetics in Malay language
that I had been struggling with, I was so jubilant that I started calling out
my mother to tell her “I’ve got it ” as soon as I reached my house door. My interest in
the Malay language did not last.
So what makes one persevere in one subject or a hobby but not another? When
come to choosing a career path or a job, some people may not have a particular interest and they are in a
scenario where they find that they have no passion for their work and they
merely do it for a living. On the other hand, some may want to pursue their
passion but find that it is not practical or feasible to make a career around that
passion, so they will have to be contented with pursuing it as a hobby.
Imagine if you
could go back to the past looking
at your future which is now, what
would you be thinking? As the famous quote says Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived
forwards." - Soren Kierkegaard
But how do you lead your life forward so
you do not live in regrets? A friend highly
recommended a book entitled What I Wish I knew
When I was 20 written by Dr. Tina
Seelig. It is one of those books that I feel like running out and get a couple
of copies for my friends who have grown up children like me .
Dr. Tina Seelig in
her book writes: “ The process of finding the gold mine where your skills,
interests, and the market collide can take some time.”
“What do you
want to be when you grow up?” is a favourite topic for school essays. For me
that was a lifetime ago. Seelig has met many students who literally show
her a detailed map of what they plan to do for the next fifty years. Seelig writes, ' Not only is this unrealistic, but it's sadly limiting. There are so many unexpected experiences ahead that it's best to keep your eyes open instead of blinding yourself to the serendipitous options that might present themselves.'
I am often amazed and wonder how some people can plan so well as I cannot even plan for the next five months. For me the future is an unknown. When I was in my youth, I had trouble visualizing because I was an indecisive person. I was rather clueless about what I really wanted to do from the moment I graduated from the university. As I was circumspect about exploring the alternatives , I returned to my hometown and settled down. Decades later, I realized that I had been too much of an existentialist that time has literally slipped through and I am still trying to make sense of my life.
I am often amazed and wonder how some people can plan so well as I cannot even plan for the next five months. For me the future is an unknown. When I was in my youth, I had trouble visualizing because I was an indecisive person. I was rather clueless about what I really wanted to do from the moment I graduated from the university. As I was circumspect about exploring the alternatives , I returned to my hometown and settled down. Decades later, I realized that I had been too much of an existentialist that time has literally slipped through and I am still trying to make sense of my life.
What I Wish I
knew When I was 20 is definitely a
must-read book. Chapter 5 “ The Secret Sauce of Silicon Valley” drives home the
message that quitting can be empowering and not a sign of weakness so learning
when to call it quits is crucial and also it is important to quit gracefully. I
particularly enjoy reading the anecdote in Chapter 7‘Turn Lemonade into Helicopters’ about how she had
offered to show someone new in the neighbourhood the recipe to make frozen, canned lemonade and in turn she
and her colleagues were treated to a spectacular surprise ride in the person’s private helicopter
above the city, up to the surrounding mountains, and over his family’s ski
resort.
There are no
short cuts in courting luck your way. We are told to be innovative,
experimental, tune in and pay attention to our environment so we can find fascinating things around every
turn. The recipe for success is not limited to hard work and dedication, being
fearless, accumulating experiences and keeping an
open mind are amongst the ingredients for opening doors for
yourself.
There are plenty
of wisdom in the book What I Wish I Knew When I was 20. Seelig
is generous in sharing her
personal experiences and anecdotes besides telling us about real people’s fascinating success stories
and how they recover from
failures, overcome barriers and adversities and that most problems are
remarkable opportunities in disguise.
I absolutely agree with Seeling that how we view the world around us
very much depends on our emotional state.
I tend to go for hair cuts when I feel edgy and down and I often tell my
hairstylist “ It's not the hair it's just me.” Simple food tastes heavenly and hideous accessories look gorgeous when you are happy.
'Reflecting on his life, my
father determined that his most important insight is that you shouldn’t take
yourself too seriously nor judge others too harshly. Her dad wishes that he had been more tolerant of mistakes he
made and those made by others, and that he could have seen that failure is a
normal part of the learning process.'
I am
comforted by the passage:
“ Uncertainty is the essence of
life, and it fuels opportunity. To be honest , there are still days when I ‘m
not sure which road to take and am overwhelmed by the choices unfolding in
front of me . But I now know that uncertainty is the fire that sparks
innovation and the engine that drives us forward.”
In essence, we
are encouraged to challenge assumptions, constantly reassess ourselves and be prepared to get out of our comfort
zones, re-adjust and be confident.
Very positive insights and forward thinking indeed.
As I write the
post, I googled and read about Randy Komisar, the venture capitalist’s response
to the following questions on Kleiner Perkins Caufield & Byers KPCB’s website click
Make a call
to 20-year-old Randy Komisar, what kind of advice would you give to him?
'“Trust yourself. You don’t have to
become someone else to succeed in life.”
Define your own success and don’t
surrender to the expectations of others. Don’t worry about what you can’t
change and don’t concern yourself with the ultimate questions of life’s challenges, focus instead on the
here and now. Know yourself in order to know others. And don’t be fooled by
money. It can empower greatness if you are truly great, but it comes at a steep
cost and can be a burden that keeps you from living a meaningful life. In the
end, it’s the relationships with others and your help for those who need it
that will define your happiness. Trust in goodness.'
If you can leave one message to make the world better, what
would be your message?
Be kinder. Move beyond yourself
and deeply empathize with others. We are all in this life together and no one
will get out alive. While our generation is obsessed with how we can make and
consume more, twenty-five hundred years ago the world’s best thinkers on every
continent wrestled with a much more powerful question,“how should we live our
lives?” I think it starts with losing your ego and being kinder to each other
in the process. ‘
Spot on.
Spot on.
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