I enjoy solitude as much as
having a one to one conversation if there is stuff to talk about. But because I can be indecisive and
prone to changing my mind, I like to venture out on my own whether to grab a coffee or a bite or just to
walk around a place. I decide where I eat according to where is convenient and
whether I could get a park. The food is secondary, the company is important. It
is easy to eat alone, I can change
my mind without having to account to anyone . It can be productive to eat alone
as you need the time to read and think about things generally. It is not that I
do not like people. I find people fascinating. Only opinionated know-it-all
bore me, people who have quirky sense of humour and are open to exchanging
their stories and thoughts interest me.
I like to think that I am open minded and versatile
in accepting what comes may but in truth I find that everyday can be a
challenge as it is never easy to just accept what you see and what you hear
without forming an opinion, a conclusion or a thought. So I try to stock up my
level of empathy. Perhaps the first thing one should be taught in school is to
have empathy. In fact the reality is not every man for himself as it should be
every man for his own salvation. In the world of politics , it may be every man
for himself but we must all know that nothing lasts for ever. Every individual
has to seek his or her own salvation because as humans, we are consumed with
desires for one thing or another and desires are our drawbacks.
Often I feel that I get to where
I am by default. It is easy to know what one does not like or want to do but it is hard to know what one really
wants to pursue or do, so one might end up where he or she is by way of elimination process . By
trial and error, some of us are fortunate to arrive at decisions they do not
live to regret. We are told that we have to will things to happen if we want
them badly. We call that positive thinking. Sometimes things may not happen
when we want them too badly to happen. I feel that could be because you think
you really want something badly but you do not really believe that you will get
that something you want badly, then that something you want badly will not happen . So eventually it is still
about positive thinking. Positive thinking arises from self possession. It is a
matter of having self confidence and faith in what you do. But then there is
also the other theory that everything is about destiny, so if it is already in
the book of the universe, you cannot change it. If that is so, we should not
fret or be too disappointed if we do not get the results we want.
Often we procrastinate when we
have to do something we do not like. One day I had this insight and I said to a
couple of colleagues, “ In life one must learn to get good at doing something
you don’t like doing.” There was no response. I could hear a pin drop. Perhaps
that kind of sound depressing and I gave myself away by uttering the comment.
It probably crossed these lawyers’ minds that “ She does not like what she is
doing.” I definitely have this desire of only doing things that I like and I
know that will be unrealistic. As
we are so often told that we have to love what we are doing , we should stop
doing what we don’t like doing and only do what we feel passionate about.
However whatever it is that you love doing, you might end up not liking
it after a while so you cannot
just follow your desire unless you are ready to face the consequences whatever
they may be.
We cannot sit on the fence. When
I try to think about both sides of an argument, things can get a little muddled
up. In the novel “ The
Submission” by Amy
Waldman, a jury gathers in Manhattan to select a design for the memorial
to be constructed for the victims of a devastating terror attack and after deliberating, the jurors opens the
envelope only to discover that the winner they have picked is an American
Muslim. Instantly the jurors are cast into a controversial debate about the
claims of grief surrounding 9/11, the submission, its art and the meaning of Islam. One of the
jurors, Claire whose husband died in the tragedy was told by one of the
victim’s brother. “ You
don’t know what you want,” he said, haltingly in front of her, peeved by the
difference in their height. “ You know what you’re supposed to want, but not
what you really want. Step aside, Claire. Let people who know their own minds
fight this out.”
“No
people like me, who can see both sides, are needed. It’s called empathy.” Her
tone had turned patronizing, superior.
“
Cowardice is what it’s called! You can see all the sides you want, but you can
only be on one. One! You have to choose, Claire. Choose!” He was yelling now.That
familiar, dreaded tightening ,the build of frustration ,had begun……
In life we have to make many
choices and we are all afraid to make the wrong choice. Perhaps we are afraid
not for ourselves but also for our successors and the many next generations to
come but we must know that we can only decide based on what we know at present.
Everything in life is subject to change, it may be change for the better for
some and worse for some, or it may not be better nor worse just different. We
have to try to understand that one cannot be guided by passions or emotions
alone. There are always the reasons for it and the other reasons against it. If
only the people could try to be more objective and think rationally and not be
overcome by emotion. Still we must not sit on the fence.
Nice, France (Oct 2012) |
No comments:
Post a Comment